I have a two friends (T & B) that have been in a relationship for nine years this Saturday, September 8, 2007. Nine years! That's incredible for two men. Even though I'm jaded, at times, their relationship is an inspiration.
Nine years can't go without it's fights and quarrels, but the point is they're in it for the long haul, with all it's ups and downs. It's not a quick sprint, but a steady focused ride.
I love them dearly and wish nothing but the best for both of them. Tonight, they're going out to dinner to celebrate their first date. That stuff makes me just warm inside.
I was doing some research online and found an article about McWhirter and Mattison's (1984) Six Stages of Development in healthy gay relationships. For those of you in relationships does this study ring true? I'd like to know. It sounds right on to me, but I'm on the outside looking in.
Regarding the six stages, I found it interesting that the stages were broken down from 1 to 2-3, 4-5, to 6-10. I guess when you hit the 6th year you've got the real work to do. That good for us single people to know.
To my all friends out there in healthy relationships....onward and upward!!!
with love,
kevin
(click the date and see some fun facts about September 8th)
1 comment:
I think relationships are never linear...science tend to simplify things. Males have a 'cyclic' way about courtships and heterosexuals males are even worse or rather more erratic. The reason why mid-life crises are common among men above 40.
I think the hardest bit is 1-3 years - wondrous but full of self-doubt. Then it is clockwork and as you get older you tend to rationalise where your relationship is heading. For some it is very hetero but for others they prefer a 3rd. So which is the norm?
I can't really speak for everyone else but I think I am pretty much the norm. We are in our late 30s and are quite settled after 12 years - we share everything and are uncertain what retirement might bring. We have issues with our sexual attraction but we discuss and we try new things that are within boundaries.
So in a way some people start from the 6 stage and goes to the first and there are others whom are vice-versa. If you know what I mean?!
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