I don't know if I could be in an open relationship (possibly, but not sure).
I hear more and more couples who are in open relationships ,but on the DL. They shouldn't broadcast it either. There are more than a few guys out there who find couples irresistible.
What does being open do? Does it take the stress off a commitment? Is there a difference between a physical and emotion commitment. Can you really separate the two or is "being open" an admittance that men cheat, so why not beat it to the punch.
*the image is called "three men".
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There is a duality in us that is different from one person to another. There is the intellect and there is the emotional. People in open relationships would prefer to stand in the middle, where the physical need is rationalised and an emotional pact is made between parties to accept that open relationships are purely detached and mere bodily function.
I have to say that when I was younger and not looking for a relationship, I didn't mind dating someone that was already in a relationship until one day he discovered that he was falling in love with me and in a strange way I was too. But he was with a partner of 11 years and I warned him that this was purely physical. Being single - I guess I was selfish. Our 'detachment' was mentally brutal and I recommend avoiding this at all cost. I remember seeing him again with his partner and both our hearts shattered in that instance - it made my emotions spiralled in a way you cannot imagine.
You see that is the trouble with open relationships...you cannot stop loving someone if you let them into your heart. It will be intimate and revealing - you cannot get out without knowing whom you're with. That is what being human is all about. Being open means you have to keep on moving from one person to another -once you stop, you start a relationship even without you wanting it.
I always say choose your partner well, lay down all the cards and see where it goes. I do not believe in open relationships and will never do. I don't think that I am incapable of taking care of my partner but I am realistic...i.e. see but don't touch analogy. And I don't butter my words when I disapprove of his behaviour - I draw the line and there is no mistaking what I am saying. I do not 'imply'.
I know of many friends in Europe who are 3. They are quite happy but more liberal. Coco,that is his name, has always kept me safe from predators when I was younger. He was like a big brother to me and looking in his eyes growing up, there was a sadness I now understand - for everyone is always wanting to be 'the One' not 'the Other'.
I guess I was brought up to believe in the sanctity of 2. You need to be a Romantic to understand where I am coming from and to have pride in what you believe in and never falter even when everything around you seems to say otherwise.
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