So, I was watching an episode of Sex and the city called The Caste System. It's the one when Miranda wanted to buy the suit for Steve and Carrie said, "I love you" to Mr. Big
One statement Carrie said that stayed with me was, "Everything before I love you doesn't count". Carrie took a guy home and slept in the same bed with another man while dating "Big" and decided not to tell because that happened before "Big" said, "I love you".
Does she have a point? When you become emotionally committed to someone is that the time when you disclose everything? It seems a little false to me. I would want someone to be honest with me. If not, then I'm investing my feelings in a lie and that would piss me off.
3 comments:
Kevin...I saw this couple of weeks ago. I think when you are so jaded you tend not to want to fall in love but when you do, then you'd say to yourself 'everything before I love you doesn't count' because you do not want to feel vulnerable - all your previous shortcomings feeds your insecurities so you'd rather shut them out.
I made a pack with my partner never to disclose anything of the past that they are not fond of and only when they are ready. Give them the space and they will give you the space. I have my 'secrets' but they're more about me rather than anyone else so I need to learn to face it myself before I put it out in the open.
But then again there are those who are emotionally retarded so time or understanding won't help - you just need to kick their head in with reality.
I have a soft spot for Steve...are there such creatures in the real world?
I see your point. It becomes more about the now, which makes sense.
What does the guy you met a bar when you were 20 have anything to do with your relationship right now.
For me, I start to wonder how much is being withheld.
That I should never stop finding Mr. Right eventhough I keep falling over and over again for Mr. Right now. That Dating was also important rather than hiding away because you feel abit fragile.
It is all about being ready - ready to share your life with someone and ready to let your guard down. And that it takes 2 to be ready no matter how hard you push, if the other guy still wants his cake and eat it too - then its not going to work.
My current partner and I used to not see each other for 6 months in a year. We were both busy working either interstate or in different countries. We needed to trust one another somehow because we spent so much time apart. Our saving grace is that we moved in together after 6 weeks. That became our focus...our shared home that reminded us of us. We were ready to give it a shot.
There will be a critical moment in any relationship - a breaking point that will either seal the bond or shatter it to pieces. We found ours - we were lucky.
The trouble with the chap I met when I was 20 was that he had picked up bad habits and that stayed with him for the rest of his life. He couldn't break away from his shackles.
We all exist in a duality state. One which is governed by our emotions and our mind. Attraction to someone is an emotional state, bonding with someone comes from the mind. I've learnt to let all the questions run through my system, it is a rather tumultuous experience but emotions are like 100 meter races, they wear out. That is what being an artist is all about. And when the cleansing process is done; you can then make rational decisions without your emotions getting in the way.
Trust yourself first before trusting others. Know yourself first before 'touching' others. Love yourself first before loving others and people will know the real you...a little poetic I know but its my mantra. People are attracted to others who has their head screwed on the right way.
Post a Comment